Pictured: The giant 10ft conger eel that makes feeding the 5,000 seem possible
By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 8:14 PM on 01st October 2009
Impressive: Fishmonger Matt Endacott with the giant conger eel caught off the British coast
We have all heard how Jesus fed the five thousand with a single fish and just three loaves of bread.
Well this incredible 10ft conger eel makes the biblical miracle seem much more possible.
Caught off the British coast, the huge fish weighs a hefty 100lb (45kg) and is nearly twice as long as its new owner Matt Endacott.
And the fishmonger is offering to sell the entire eel for a giant supper until Saturday.
Fishmonger Matt bought the giant eel at market because it was the biggest he'd ever seen.
The average conger eel weighs just 5kg and is around 3ft.
This outstanding example was caught by sea fisherman Dean Corbett of Torquay, Devon, who sold it to Matt for £50.
Matt, of Jackson Ltd, Newton Abbot, Devon, is now asking if anyone will buy the giant eel whole before he cuts it into pieces.
He said: 'It is the biggest one I have ever seen.
'We had one a few years ago that was 8ft, but this is 10ft.
'It is a vast specimen and weighs 46kg gutted.
'Luckily we have large slab and can take a fish this size.
'Supermarkets have smaller slabs and would never be able to show it to the public.
'We will have it on a slab until Saturday afternoon and then will prep it up and sell it fresh and smoked.'
Conger eel is not a popular dish in the UK because they are an ugly fish - but Matt claims it is delicious.
He said: 'It is certainly underrated in the country as a product because it's a large, ugly and slimy looking beast.'
The largest conger eel caught in England was snared off Falmouth in Cornwall and weighed 210lb (95kg).
The world record is held in Iceland for an eel weighing 305lb (139kg).
The conger eel can be found all around the coast of Britain.
It favours wrecks, reefs and rough, rocky habitats.
During the night they tend to swim in shallower waters closer to the shore.
Despite its enormous size and aggressive appearance, the conger eel is a shy creature and hastily retreats to its lair when threatened.
IgNobel goes to gas-mask bra inventor
From correspondents in Washington
Reuters
October 02, 2009 10:03am
Prizes also went to Zimbabwe for issuing banknotes that range in value from one Zimbabwean cent to 100 trillion Zimbabwean dollars, Mexican scientists who made diamonds out of tequila and executives of four Icelandic banks that suffered spectacular collapses.
The IgNobel prizes are given out by the Harvard-based humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research.
The Public Health prize went to Elena Bodnar of Illinois, who designed and patented a bra that can be quickly converted into a pair of gas masks, one for the brassiere wearer and one to be given to some needy bystander.
Ireland's police won the literature prize from writing more than 50 traffic tickets to a frequent visitor and speeder named Prawo Jazdy.
In Polish, this means "driver's license".
Pathologist Stephan Bolliger and colleagues at the University of Bern in Switzerland won for a study they did to determine whether an empty beer bottle does more or less damage to the human skull than a full one in a bar fight.
"Both suffice in breaking the human skull," Mr Bolliger said.
"However, the empty ones are more sturdy. This is because the pressure of the beer, aided by carbonation, makes a full beer bottle explode quickly."
Gideon Gono, governor of Zimbabwe's Reserve Bank which is struggling to fight runaway inflation, won an award "for giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers - from very small to very big - by having his bank print bank notes with denominations ranging from one Zimbabwean cent to $100 trillion Zimbabwean dollars".
The economics prize went to managers at Kaupthing Bank, Landsbanki, Glitnir Bank and Central Bank of Iceland "for demonstrating that tiny banks can be rapidly transformed into huge banks, and vice versa".
Donald Unger of California was honored for a lifelong experiment in which he cracked the knuckles of his left hand but never his right for more than 60 years to prove that cracking your knuckles does not cause arthritis.
Other winners included farmers who showed that naming your cows makes them give more milk, researchers who used panda droppings to break down household trash and a scientist who calculated why pregnant women do not fall over.
First ape woman: Only 4ft tall and rather hairy... meet your 4.4million-year-old ancestor
By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 10:39 AM on 02nd October 2009
She lived at the dawn of a new era, when chimps and people began walking (or climbing) along their own evolutionary trails.
This is Ardi - the oldest member of the human family tree we've found so far.
Short, hairy and with long arms, she roamed the forests of Africa 4.4million years ago.
Her discovery, reported in detail for the first time today, sheds light on a crucial period when we were just leaving the trees.
Ardi's skeleton (left) revealed she was 4ft tall and weighed 7st 12oz
'This is one of the most important discoveries for the study of human evolution,' said Dr David Pilbeam, curator of palaeoanthropology at Harvard's Peabody Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology.
'It is relatively complete in that it preserves head, hands, feet, and some critical parts in between.'
Ardi - short for Ardipithecus ramidus or 'root of the ground ape' - stood 4ft tall and weighed 110lb.
She lived a million years before the famous Lucy, the previous earliest skeleton of a hominid who was dug up in 1974.
Experts believe Ardi is very, very close to the 'missing link' common ancestor of humans and chimps, thought to have lived five to seven million years ago.
'This is not that common ancestor, but it's the closest we have ever been able to come,' said Dr Tim White, director of the Human Evolution Research Centre at the University of California, Berkeley, who reports the discovery today in Science. The first fossilised and crushed bones of Ardi were found in 1994 in Ethiopia's Afar Rift.
But it has taken an international team of 47 scientists 17 years to piece together, analyse and describe the remains.
Ardi's skeleton had been trampled and scattered, while the skull was crushed to just two inches in height.
Digital representations of Ardi's skull (left) and hand (right)
Researchers have pieced together 125 fragments of bone - including much of her skull, hands, feet, arms, legs and pelvis - which were dated using the volcanic layers of soil above and below the find.
The results were surprising. Previously, scientists believed that our common ancestor would have been very chimp-like, and that ancient hominids such as Ardi would still have much in common with them.
But she was not suited like a modern- day chimp to swinging or hanging from trees or walking on her knuckles.
This suggests that chimps and gorillas developed those characteristics after the split with humans - challenging the idea that they are merely an 'unevolved' version of us.
Analysis of the ape skeleton of Ardi, found in Ethiopia in 1994, reveals humans and chimps evolved separately from a common ancestor
Ardipithecus ramidus
- Volcanic layers around the fossil were used to date it from 4.4million years ago
- Ardi's upper canine teeth are more similar to stubby human teeth than sharp chimpanzee teeth
- Tooth enamel analysis revealed they ate fruit, nuts and leaves
- Ardi's brain was positioned in a similar way to that of humans
- Pelvis and hip show the gluteal muscles were positioned so she could walk upright
Ardi's feet were rigid enough to allow her to walk upright some of the time, but she still had a grasping big toe for use in climbing trees.
And she had long arms but short palms and fingers which were flexible, allowing her to support her body weight on her palms.
Her upper canine teeth are more like the stubby teeth of modern people than the long, sharp ones of chimps. An analysis of her tooth enamel suggests she ate fruit, nuts and leaves.
Scientists believe she was a female because her skull is relatively small and lightly built. Her teeth were also smaller than other members of the same family that were found later.
Alan Walker, of Pennsylvania Sate University, told Science: 'These things were very odd creatures. You know what Tim (White) once said: 'If you wanted to find something that moved like these things you'd have to go to the bar in Star Wars'.'
Since the discovery, scientists have unearthed another 35 members of the Ardipithecus family.
Ardi was found in alongside crumbling fossils of 29 species of birds and 20 species of small mammals - including owls, parrots, shrews, bats and mice.
Lucy, also found in Africa, thrived a million years after Ardi and was of the more human-like genus Australopithecus.
'In Ardipithecus we have an unspecialized form that hasn't evolved very far in the direction of Australopithecus. So when you go from head to toe, you're seeing a mosaic creature that is neither chimpanzee, nor is it human. It is Ardipithecus,' said Dr White.
He noted that Charles Darwin, whose research in the 19th century paved the way for the science of evolution, was cautious about the last common ancestor between humans and apes.
'Darwin said we have to be really careful. The only way we're really going to know what this last common ancestor looked like is to go and find it. Well, at 4.4 million years ago we found something pretty close to it,' Dr White added.
'And, just like Darwin appreciated, evolution of the ape lineages and the human lineage has been going on independently since the time those lines split, since that last common ancestor we shared.'
Some details about Ardi in the collection of papers:
- Ardi was found in Ethiopia's Afar Rift, where many fossils of ancient plants and animals have been discovered. Findings near the skeleton indicate that at the time it was a wooded environment. Fossils of 29 species of birds and 20 species of small mammals were found at the site.
- Geologist Giday WoldeGabriel of Los Alamos National Laboratory was able to use volcanic layers above and below the fossil to date it to 4.4 million years ago.
- Paleoanthropologist Gen Suwa of the University of Tokyo reported that Ardi's face had a projecting muzzle, giving her an ape-like appearance. But it didn't thrust forward quite as much as the lower faces of modern African apes do.
Some features of her skull, such as the ridge above the eye socket, are quite different from those of chimpanzees.
The details of the bottom of the skull, where nerves and blood vessels enter the brain, indicate that Ardi's brain was positioned in a way similar to modern humans, possibly suggesting that the hominid brain may have been already poised to expand areas involving aspects of visual and spatial perception.
The first signs of Ardi were discovered in Middle Awash, a desert site that would have been much wetter, teeming with animal life and thickly covered with trees 4 million years ago. A graduate student from the University of California at Berkley found two finger bones. Further excavation turned up pieces of pelvis, feet, hands and skull. By the end of three years, scientists realised they'd found a paleontological treasure.
The search continues for the 'last common ancestor' from which both modern humans and modern chimpanzees can trace their ancestry.
Many experts think the common ancestor lived at least 7 million years ago.
Research on Ardi suggests that this ancestor didn't look nearly as much like a modern chimpanzee as had been previously suspected.
This suggests that chimpanzees have themselves evolved significantly.
Arrested couple have sex in cop car
By Rebekah Cavanagh
Northern Territory News
October 02, 2009 07:35am
AN arrested couple have been sprung shagging in the back of a police paddy wagon while being driven to a Territory cop station.
Hannah Walker was driving behind the police car and said she was shocked to find the couple bonking in the back when she pulled up behind them at a red light, the Northern Territory News reports.
Police said last night they had no idea about their randy rendezvous.
Ms Walker was travelling along Gilruth Avenue towards Darwin city when she stopped at the traffic lights that meet Goyder Rd in Parap outside Darwin High School and saw the pair pashing about 5pm on Wednesday.
"I saw the two people kissing and thought 'geez, in the back of a paddy wagon - they're keen'," she said.
Ms Walker, 18, said by the time she reached the next set of lights and got stuck behind the police car again the couple were having sex.
The 'mummy's boy' held after his parents are knifed to death at home he refused to leave
By Arthur Martin and Stephen Wright
Last updated at 9:21 AM on 02nd October 2009
The son held over the brutal murders of his retired teacher parents was a 'Mummy's Boy' who had refused to leave home despite being in his mid 30s, it emerged last night.
Daniel Dighton was found hiding in the attic by police after they discovered the bodies of his father Barry, a former prep school headteacher, and his mother Elizabeth, at the family's home in Croydon, South London.
Mr and Mrs Dighton had suffered stab wounds and been subjected to an 'appalling frenzied attack', sources said. 
Retired headmaster Barry Dighton was found murdered at his home
One theory being investigated by police is that tensions had been rising over 34-year-old Daniel's failure to leave home and start a meaningful career.
It is understood that his parents had bought or rented him a property in South London to make him more independent but he had returned to live with his parents.
Three weeks ago he again moved back into the family home after failing to succeed as a teacher in a Montessori school in Thailand.
He signed up to a teaching agency on his return, but spent his days drinking when there was no work. 
The bodies of Barry Dighton, 61, and his wife Elizabeth,were found at their first-floor flat in Campden Road, South Croydon. Their son has been arrested
The bodies were found in Croydon, south London
His father Barry, 61, was for almost 20 years head of Elmhurst School for Boys in Croydon until his retirement in 2006.
Under his guidance, it became one of the country's best independent prep schools. His mother Elizabeth, 60, enjoyed a successful teaching career at the school.
Daniel worked as a caretaker and teaching assistant there for ten years until he left for Thailand in July.
'He was only there for a few weeks before he quit,' a friend said. 'It caused some tension with his parents.'
e bag is seen on the road outside the house
Scene of horror: A forensics officer searches the home for evidence
The day before the murders Daniel embarked on a 12-hour drinking session at his local pub, The Folly.
His friend Kenny McCallum, 48, said: 'We had a good day. Everything he said was positive.'
Last night Barry's brother David, 73, told the Daily Mail: 'We are all in a state of shock at the moment. We don't really know what has gone on.'
Neighbours said a man, covered in blood and 'trembling', was led away in handcuffs after police responded to reports of a disturbance at the family home at 12.20pm on Wednesday. 
Mr Dighton retired last year as headmaster of Elmhurst School for Boys in south Croydon
Sources said Daniel had no history of mental health problems and had not been in trouble with the police before.
Doctors who examined him yesterday concluded he was fit to be questioned by police.
A source said: 'Daniel's over-dependence on his parents, and his failure to stand on his own two feet, may have prompted a bitter family feud.'
Scotland Yard said a 34-year-old man remained in custody.
Police: New Mexico Girl Locked in Room, Denied Food and Toilet
Thursday, October 01, 2009
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A New Mexico couple is jailed after a 10-year-old girl told police her father and stepmother used a timer to allow her only a few minutes to eat, then locked her in her room to keep her from getting up and eating.
Police in Portales say the child also was denied access to the bathroom at home and forced to wear pull-up diapers, and her head was shaved as punishment.
She was removed from the home Sept. 18, when elementary school teachers called police, saying the girl appeared malnourished.
Mern and Athena Shepherd were arrested six days later and charged with child neglect. They remained jailed Thursday with bail set at $5,000 each.
Jail officials had no information about whether the Shepherds have a lawyer.
U.K. Nursery Worker, 2 Others Admit Horrific Child Sex Abuse
Thursday, October 01, 2009
A nursery worker and two accomplices in Britain have pleaded guilty to carrying out a string of sex attacks on children as young as 18 months old.
Vanessa George, 39, admitted seven counts of sexual abuse and six counts of distributing and making indecent pictures of children.
She committed the crimes at Little Ted's nursery in Plymouth, where she worked.
She denied one count of sexual assault, which was ordered by the judge at Bristol Crown Court to lie on file.
The children in George's photographs have never been identified.
By analyzing electronic references stored within the images, detectives have been able to work out roughly when the pictures were taken.
With the assistance of a consultant paediatrician, they have also estimated the ages of the children involved.
By cross-referencing nursery records, they have narrowed down to 30 the number of families who would have had children of the right age, at the relevant time, in the care of George.
But beyond that, individual identification is very difficult.
Co-defendants Angela Allen and Colin Blanchard also admitted a string of charges relating to assault and child pornography.
Allen, 39, an unemployed single mother from Nottingham, wept in court.
Blanchard, also 39, pleaded guilty to 17 child pornography counts and two sexual assaults on children.
The computer parts salesman, from Rochdale, Lancs, also admitted a further charge of possessing extreme pornography.
Blanchard, who was married and had a young daughter, had been on the sex offenders register.
"The abuse was carried out solely for the sexual gratification of George and her two co-defendants," Sky News West of England correspondent Katie Stallard said.
"The three apparently first met on Facebook last year, but never actually met until they were led together into the dock at Bristol Crown Court. The trio traded thousands of explicit email and text messages detailing horrific fantasies of child sex abuse."
Sky News has also learned George — who is married with two teenage children — even discussed with one of her accomplices the possibility of abducting a child.
Schoolgirl Sells Granny on Ebay for $3,500
Thursday, October 01, 2009
A schoolgirl tired of her grandmother's "moaning" decided to sell the pensioner on eBay.
Zoe Pemberton, 10, from Clacton in Essex, put her 61-year-old grandmother up for sale on the auction website with no reserve price, describing her as "rare and annoying and moaning a lot." She also said pensioner Marion Goodall was "very cuddly," loved word searches and enjoyed drinking tea.
Zoe's granny attracted bids of more than $3500.
Explaining her drastic actions, Zoe said: "Well, she was annoying me."
"She was moaning at me when I wrote down that her favourite food was curry — she said could I change it to Chinese. Apart from that she didn't seem to mind."
A total of 27 bids were received for Ms Goodall, but she has since been withdrawn from the site.
Zoe was visiting her father, Thomas Pemberton, and her grandmother at their home in Clacton-on-Sea, when she made the mischievous online offer. eBay spokeswoman Jenny Thomas confirmed the website had removed the listing.
"While no doubt Mrs Goodall would have fetched a princely sum, eBay does not allow the listing of any human being on the site."
"Mind you, we were impressed to see a total of 27 bids for the lady in question."
It is not the first time eBay has been used by family members to vent their frustration. Brit William Ireland offered his dad's ashes on the auction website in June in revenge for being abandoned as a child.
He said: "Here are the ashes of my father, Kenneth, an adulterer who left a wife, two children and just $40 in her pocket."
Michael Jackson had bizarre tattoos on his lips, eyes and scalp
By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 11:59 AM on 02nd October 2009
Michael Jackson had bizarre cosmetic tattoos on his lips, eyes and scalp, according to his autopsy report.
The leaked findings revealed there was dark ink where his eyebrows should have been and also around his eyes, a pink tattoo around his lips and what appeared to be a dark tattoo on the front of his scalp apparently to mask his bald patches.
His face and neck were also scarred, presumably the result of his many plastic surgery operations.
More bizarre revelations: Michael Jackson had tattoos on his eyes, lips and scalp, according to his autopsy
While his arms were also covered in puncture marks the report reveals he was wasn't the sickly skeleton of a man portrayed by many.
In fact, the Los Angeles County coroner's report shows Jackson was a fairly healthy 50-year-old man before he died of an overdose.
His 9st 10lb frame was acceptable for a man of 5ft 9in and his heart was strong with no sign of plaque build-up.
His kidneys and most other major organs also showed no abnormal damage.
It is believed the puncture marks were from injections of various drugs, while the facial and neck scars may have been due to plastic surgery.
Still, Jackson did have some underlying health issues: arthritis in the lower spine and some fingers, and mild plaque buildup in his leg arteries.
According to the autopsy the most damaged part of the singer's anatomy was his lungs, which were said to be chronically inflamed.
The last dance: Michael Jackson in rehearsal for the string of dates he was due to perform at London's o2 arena this summer
However, according to the document, the lung condition was not serious enough to be a direct or contributing cause of death.
Dr Zeev Kain, chairman of the anesthesiology department at the University of California, said: 'His overall health was fine - the results are within normal limits.'
Jackson died at his rented Los Angeles mansion on June 25th after his personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, administered the anesthetic propofol and two other sedatives to get the chronic insomniac to sleep, court documents state.
Propofol, normally a surgical anesthetic used in operating rooms, acts as a respiratory depressant and requires constant monitoring.
When Murray realised Jackson was unresponsive, he began frantic efforts to revive him but Jackson never regained consciousness and was declared dead at the Los Angeles Medical Center at the University of California.
Though the full autopsy report has not been publicly released, the coroner's office announced last month that Jackson's death was a homicide caused by 'acute propofol intoxication,' with the other sedatives listed as a contributing factor.
They said the standard of care for administering propofol was not met and the recommended equipment for patient monitoring, precision dosing and resuscitation was
Elizabeth Smart Says She Was Raped Repeatedly, Calls Alleged Kidnapper 'Evil'
Thursday, October 01, 2009
SALT LAKE CITY — Elizabeth Smart said Thursday that the man accused of snatching her from her Utah bedroom seven years ago, when she was a 14-year-old girl, raped her repeatedly — three or four times a day — during the nine months he held her captive as one of his wives.
Smart, now 21, was testifying for the first time against suspect Brian David Mitchell, though the two never came face-to-face in U.S. District Court in Salt Lake City. Mitchell was removed before Smart arrived and taken to a holding cell where he could listen to the proceedings.
Smart said Mitchell, 55, raped her for the first time right after her June 2002 abduction — which occurred in the dead of night in her Salt Lake City home.
She told the court that the rapes continued three to four times a day for nine months, and that Mitchell told her she would be killed if she yelled or tried to escape.
She described Mitchell as "evil, wicked, manipulative, stinky, slimy, selfish, not spiritual, not religious, not close to God."
SLIDESHOW: The Elizabeth Smart Saga
Salt Lake City Tribune Provides Running Coverage of Smart Testimony
Click here for more from FOX13Now.com.
It marked the first time Smart has testified against Mitchell, who is accused of abducting Smart and making her his "wife" to fulfill a religious prophecy.
The court is currently conducting a competency hearing for Mitchell, who has twice before been deemed mentally unfit for trial. A judge ruled earlier this week that Smart's testimony is relevant to determining Mitchell's mental competency.
Smart was poised and composed while testifying for just under two hours.
She said Mitchell abducted her in her bedroom at knifepoint in the middle of the night, took her to a mountain camp and performed a ceremony she said was intended to "marry" the two.
"After that, he proceeded to rape me," Smart said.
Click here for the charges against Mitchell and Barzee (FindLaw)
She said he held her captive with a cable attached to her leg that had a 10-foot reach. She said the line was attached to another cable strung between two trees.
Smart said Mitchell plied her with alcohol and drugs to lower her resistance.
"He said that he would kill anybody that would come into the camp, or kill me if I ever tried to escape or yell out," she testified.
Smart said Mitchell was motivated by sex and used religion to get what he wanted.
Mitchell's defense attorneys had sought to limit Smart's testimony to her experiences with Mitchell, without her opinions about his mental state.
The defense objected to the 39 "lay witnesses" proposed by prosecutors, including Mitchell's family, friends or workers at Utah State Hospital, because they lacked the expertise to evaluate competency.
In a ruling Monday, U.S. District Judge Dale Kimball rejected the argument as it related to Smart, saying her testimony may help the court settle differences in the findings of experts who have evaluated Mitchell.
Those experts have offered split opinions of Mitchell's competency and have relied on statements from others — including Smart — and past evaluations to prepare reports for the court. Kimball's ruling said Mitchell has been uncooperative with evaluators and refused to participate in diagnostic tests.
In the state court system, Mitchell was twice found incompetent to stand trial.
Mitchell and his estranged wife were found with Smart in March 2003, nine months after her abduction. She was rescued after a motorist spotted her walking through a suburb with Mitchell and his estranged wife, Wanda Eileen Barzee.
Last year, Mitchell was indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of kidnapping and unlawful transportation of a minor.
Once an itinerant street preacher, Mitchell is said to have wanted Smart as a polygamous wife and may have taken her to fulfill a religious prophecy he laid out in a 27-page manifesto drafted in April 2002.
In letters written to Smart's mother, Barzee, 63, sought forgiveness for any pain she had caused and said she expects to spend the rest of her life in prison.
Barzee, however, made just one reference to Smart in the 12 letters sent to her mother. And she didn't provide details about the nine months the girl allegedly spent with her and Mitchell.
Last year, Mitchell was indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of kidnapping and unlawful transportation of a minor.
A 10-day competency hearing is scheduled to begin Nov. 30.